Helping Missionary Kids Thrive on Home Assignment

Bethany DuVal • Apr 22, 2020

For most of us, missionary kids are an anomaly of life. They come to our churches for a year or a single Sunday while their parents are on home assignment. And we hardly get to know them before they leave again for the mission field.

But on the Global Missions Podcast , TEAM Missionary Kid Coordinator Valerie Williams explains why these kids need your love — and how you can impact their lives in just one church visit.

Listen to the podcast episode to find out:

  • What “home” means to missionary kids
  • What to do before missionary kids come for a visit
  • How to make the church experience less intimidating
  • The power of truly listening
  • How to keep connecting after a missionary kid leaves

Inspired by the podcast, we also asked missionaries for real-life examples of how churches and friends have helped their kids thrive on home assignment. Check out their ideas, and talk with your church body about what you can do to help missionary kids on home assignment.

1. Build a welcome basket or road trip kit.

Before a word is spoken, a welcome basket says, “We care about you and have been looking forward to your arrival.”

“A few of our churches gave [our] girls little baskets with small gifts or gift cards,” says Jessica Malec, TEAM missionary to Peru. “They really enjoyed this, no matter how big or small it was.”

When Kacie Mann’s family arrived from Papua, Indonesia , a friend had made road trip kits with coloring books, crayons, little toys and snacks.

“We had supplies for our kids, but especially for little ones, their short attention spans mean they get bored of what they know,” Kacie says, “and a new pack of things — even cheap dollar store things — is so great for passing the time in the car.”

If you have kids, get them involved in making the welcome baskets or road trip kits . Let them pick out toys and write notes. The gift basket could even include an invitation to a playdate, showing the missionary kids that they have friends at the ready.

2. Provide stability and rest.

Every kid needs stability and rest. But that’s hard to find when you’re driving across the country or hopping from church to church. Missionary parents work hard to give their kids a break, but there are a few ways you can help.

If the family is staying in one spot, offer to take the kids to the same church, even when parents can’t go. That way, they can make friends, join classes and set into a natural weekend rhythm.

“We didn’t go with the entire family to every supporting church that we needed to visit. … We focused as a family on our home sending church so they would get well-connected,” says Gretchen Potma, TEAM missionary to the Czech Republic.

Find out the family’s travel route and look up which museums, historical sites, national parks and other excursions they’ll pass on their travels. Then, offer to give them a day at one of them. It will give the kids a chance to just be kids, and it will help everyone make great memories together.

Besides speaking at churches, missionaries will visit supporters at their homes, take them out for coffee, speak at Bible studies and more. Offer to be their go-to babysitter, so kids have somewhere familiar to go. This works even better if you have kids of a similar age and can turn it into a playdate!

Two girls with backpacks have a conversation. Missionary kids on home assignment travel a lot.

Constant travel can be stressful for missionary kids on home assignment. Give them a more restful experience by sending their family on a fun outing.

3. Lend old toys.

“We don’t bring many toys with us from our home in Austria ,” says TEAM missionary Melissa Lundquist. So, it meant a lot when friends let their boys borrow a box of Duplo and a box of Playmobil.

TEAM missionary to Papua Susan Cochran says her home church “collected toys to have ready for our kids, including a big tub of Lego, bikes and a trampoline for our backyard.”

Before you sell your kids’ old toys, find out if you know age-appropriate missionary kids who will visit soon. Whether the kids are there for a year or a few months, these simple items will make their time easier. Plus, it’s a huge help to the parents!

“[Borrowing old toys] allowed us to not stress about investing in something that will only be used for a year and then sit in storage or be given away,” says Eric Kroner, TEAM missionary to Chad.

4. Make it easy for missionary kids to jump back into life.

Missionary kids on home assignment don’t have long to make friends, learn new activities and build a life before they go back to the mission field. Generally, the longest home assignment only lasts one year. So make sure it’s easy for missionary kids to quickly jump into church activities.

Gretchen suggests having a family assigned to connect with missionaries before their visit to a church, especially at large churches . The assigned family can help the missionary family find Sunday school classes, sign in kids and tell them what’s happening in the church.

And even before missionaries come home, Kurt zurBurg, missionary to Ukraine , says to read missionary newsletters and see what they’re saying about the kids.

“If they do try to contact the family, be sure to ask about the kids and remember what they are in interested in as they share,” Kurt says. “Take notes if needed.”

Find ways to get your own kids familiar with the missionary kids, as well.

“One Sunday school teacher took pictures of our kids to leave up on the classroom wall so other kids could remember and pray for our kids,” says Susan.

5. Rekindle old friendships.

Outside of church, be bold in setting up playdates if you have similarly aged kids. Missionary kids on home assignment deeply miss their friends abroad.

“Our kids can get overwhelmed, unsure how they fit in , what’s their place now after being gone,” says Eric. A gift of genuine friendship can be the difference between a fantastic home assignment and a long, lonely one .

“We … tried to spend as much time with their friends as possible,” says Jessica. “We had park dates, went hiking, took friends to lunch, had sleepovers, had game afternoons and parties.”

When Amanda Burleson’s family came home from South Africa , a supporter took them on a beach weekend with their own family. “That was really special,” she says.

As kids get older, it can be harder to arrange friendships, so talk with your teens about what returning missionary kids are going through. Encourage them to make a new friend — one who will have a unique perspective to share.

6. Don’t pressure missionary kids to be part of their parents’ presentations.

Some missionary kids will eagerly hop on stage to sing a song in a foreign language. Other missionary kids would rather die. It’s important to remember that their parents made the decision to go overseas, while they were likely born into it. So, before a missionary family visits, ask them what they’re comfortable doing.

“If [the kids] want to play a song on the piano for a church service, let them. But don’t force them,” says Melissa. “We included them as much as they wanted to be included.”

Be prepared for missionaries to leave their kids with their grandparents, where they can feel that important sense of stability. And if they do come, let the kids be kids . Look out for their needs.

“When we spoke at one supporting church, a friend made a special effort to make the morning special for our son, giving him a tour of the library and helping him pick out books to read while we were speaking,” says Susan.

7. Ask questions and acknowledge each missionary kid’s journey.

When a missionary family comes to town, we tend to gravitate toward the parents. After all, they were our friends before they left, and they’re the ones doing big, exciting ministry. But missionary kids want to be asked about their lives, just like anyone else.

“[Our] girls know a lot about Peru, and they have stories to tell of our time there,” Jessica says. “It was really meaningful when someone would direct their questions to them.”

Kurt encourages supporters to show genuine interest in missionary kids as people , not just as church planters. “Ask them about regular life things in Ukraine, and not stuff like, ‘Tell us about how you share Jesus with your friends in Ukraine.’”

Some missionary kids will be eager to talk about ministry. Others will be more reserved. Still other missionary kids may not have a relationship with God at all. Get to know each kid to find out where they are spiritually and what they enjoy talking about.

A Testament of God’s Love

Ultimately, helping missionary kids thrive on home assignment is all about treating them like people. What would you want and need in a strange place? How do your kids feel on long car trips? What questions did you like to be asked as a child?

Start asking these questions, and you’ll find ample ways to serve the missionary kids in your life. You’ll be a testament of God’s love for them. And you’ll enable their parents to keep serving and sharing Christ in foreign lands.

By Megan Lunsford 23 Apr, 2024
When seeking to serve cross-culturally with an authentic love for others, there’s no better example for us than Jesus. If we sat around a table and threw out the question, “How do we love like Jesus?” I think we would have several commonalities as we respond. For example, Jesus loved all people right where they were. He loved those who were deemed the least, those hardest to love, or those who were His enemies. These are all beautiful realities of the heart of Jesus. When we step into relationships, it can be easier to take on the warmer, more gracious gestures of Jesus’ love, especially in cross-cultural relationships. Think about it––when doing life with those who look and act differently than us, we are already out of our comfort zones and would rather keep things as simple and familiar as possible. But there are other facets of Jesus’ heart we often overlook that can transform us and others even more into His likeness. Jesus is love because God is love. Everything Jesus did was out of love; it’s the mere definition of who He is. As followers of Jesus, He calls us to the same: “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.” (1 John:7-12) Every display of love we offer to others is an opportunity for them to encounter the ultimate love of the Father. That’s a pretty big deal! In this article, we’ll look at three expressions of Jesus’ love that we tend to overlook when engaging others cross-culturally. (Next month, we’ll look at three more.) 1. Jesus loved sacrificially. Everywhere Jesus went, crowds followed Him. We even see times in Scripture where Jesus had plans to step away for time alone but those who were hurting found Him and He had compassion on them and stayed with them. Can you imagine rarely having any time to yourself but, instead, constantly being surrounded by crowds of people wanting help from you? Jesus loved sacrificially. He welcomed all who came to Him with love and compassion, never turning anyone away. “When He saw the crowds, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” (Matthew 9:36) In the same way, we can make room in our lives for Jesus to bring sacrificial interruptions which, in His eyes, are orchestrated encounters to transfer His love to others. It can be tempting to be so “on mission” that we are full steam ahead and find ourselves frustrated when the Holy Spirit sends an interruption into our path that we feel we don’t have time for. Or, perhaps, we have scheduled a meet-up but it’s the norm in another culture to be 30 minutes or an hour late. We anxiously think through how it will affect whatever we have planned next. While it’s normal to feel a little stressed, what if the very "interruption” standing in front of you was really a divine appointment sent by God? Or what if that person running late experiences how peaceful and gracious you are in adapting to their culture and therefore, they can encounter a beautiful display of Jesus’ love? To truly represent Christ, we should remain ready and willing for each assignment the Lord sends into our path, no matter the cost or how much we will have to re-route our day. He is always a hundred steps ahead and will work all things for His glory and our good. 2. Jesus loved by discerning each situation well. Think about how many situations Jesus had to respond to on a daily basis. We read in Scripture that there were lines of people waiting to be healed by Him, talk to Him, hear His teachings, or simply touch the hem of His robe. Jesus was fully dependent on His Father to discern each situation before addressing it. “Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner.” (John 5:19) Another temptation we can have when in a relationship with those God has sent us to is to think we already know the solution or what God wants to do before we’ve even asked Him. We believe we are full of knowledge, so we just pull from the bank we have stored within and go with it. However, when we access what is familiar to us as our default, we risk missing out on a God-given solution that might truly be the key to unlocking whatever challenge is in front of us. What does this look like when interacting with others? We can simply ask, “God, what is on Your heart for the person standing in front of me?” Then we listen and respond as He speaks. When we make it a daily habit to pause and hear God’s heart for each situation before responding, we are guaranteed to be effective in loving those around us. He knows the heart of every person that will cross our paths. Imagine how impactful we can be if we first lean on His wisdom and discernment before moving forward. 3. Jesus loved by speaking truth. Most of us are familiar with the story of Jesus and the Samaritan woman at the well. If we are honest, this conversation makes us a bit nervous as none of us would be comfortable with Jesus calling out intimate details of our lives that we would prefer to hide. But Jesus went further than just airing her dirty laundry. He offered her the hope of the Gospel and a relationship with Him - a divine fulfillment that could never be found in an earthly relationship. Jesus modeled a powerful example of loving others well cross-culturally. He took the low place and spoke truth, truly out of love––speaking to her heart from His. Like Jesus, our goal in sharing the truths about Him and His Word is to bring hope and satisfaction through Him alone. When we speak truth from Scripture, we are calling others higher into all God has for them. The tricky part here is we should avoid speaking truth if it isn’t first fueled by compassion. If it merely comes from a place of judgment, condemnation, or self-righteousness, it will fall flat 100% of the time. But if it truly comes from love, you are likely to not only win a heart back to the Father but, like the story of the Samaritan woman, even an entire village! If you see someone living outside of God’s best for their lives, ask God to show you your heart before engaging theirs. Once your heart is properly postured, you can speak truth out of an overflow of God’s love and trust Him for a transformation in their lives.
By Suzanne Pearson 16 Apr, 2024
TEAM Canada provides warm welcome and trusted friendships for diaspora populations living far from their native countries. As TEAM Canada workers Peter and Ruth (names changed) drive from their home to a nearby community center, they pass numerous apartment buildings and townhouses. Most of the families who live there are immigrants. They’ve left their countries of origin due to political unrest, trauma, and other difficulties. They’ve left family, friends, homes, jobs, and personal wealth behind. They search for peace, justice for the oppressed, and rest from fear and weariness. And as they adjust to a new country and a new language, they are often very isolated from others around them. “The sad reality is most immigrants are never even invited inside a Canadian home,” says Ruth. Peter and Ruth and their team try to change that reality. For the last nine years, the team, which includes workers from partner organizations as well as volunteers, has held English classes at the community center. Three days a week, over 60 students from more than 20 countries come together to learn English as well as to fellowship together and receive practical help in assimilating to a new normal. Meeting Needs and Building Trust That practical help may come in the form of procuring furniture, clothes, or dishes for newcomers, assistance with creating a resume and finding a job, or teaching people how to navigate Canadian laws and the medical system. As these tangible needs are met, relationships are built. “We invite them into our homes for meals and games,” Ruth shares. “We take them on hiking trips, picnics, outings, and out for coffee.” This is particularly important in this type of ministry because most immigrants come to Canada from cultures that value hospitality. Conversely, Canadians do not typically prioritize hospitality and consequently many newcomers feel lonely and isolated. Inviting folks to various gatherings and outings allows the team to spend extended time hearing people’s stories, struggles, hopes, and dreams. When she speaks about building friendships, Ruth’s heart for the people she serves is evident. “Hearing their stories, it’s easy to love them, and many have become close friends,” Ruth says. “We recognize the value of steady one-on-one relationships.”
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