After Home Assignment: Grieving the Good That Was

Anonymous • Sep 10, 2021

I hate the goodbyes that come with ending a home assignment. I want good things to keep going as they are, indefinitely. And yet, I know that’s not how life works.

Denial of something’s end doesn’t delay or prevent its end. It only keeps us from grieving what was and archiving pieces of it in memory, from getting up and walking into what’s next.

If I stay stuck in this spot, unwilling to accept the reality that time is moving on, time isn’t what stops moving. There will come a day when I’m ripped from my spot, stuck in “the good that was,” and be forced to acknowledge that the world has moved on. And I’ll see that to grow, I should move on as well.

But how much life have I wasted sitting in “the good that was,” foolishly waiting for it to return ?

Grieving “the good that was” is a good thing. It helps us not make our homes in “the good that was” or be incapacitated by it, but rather move forward and be faithful in the place God has us now.

If you’re a post-griever like me, it won’t hit you that things have ended until you’re halfway through your first movie on the plane over the Atlantic.

Until it’s too late to go back.

But whether you pre-grieve months before a big transition or you post-grieve like me, the only option that doesn’t work is non-grieving. Non-grieving feels safe in the moment, but give it a few years, and it will turn into post-grieving — along with psychosomatic health issues, strained relationships and bitterness . None of us want those freebies.

So, although I’ve already said most of my goodbyes to church family, friends and supporters , the reality that this year of home assignment is ending does not at all feel real. It likely won’t until I’m on the plane over the ocean.

I’ll get to the airport full of excitement, because airports mean traveling, and traveling is awesome — but it still won’t feel real .

I’ll hug my mom and dad. I’ll say, “See you in a couple of years.” But it won’t fully feel real.

I’ll get my overpriced airport coffee and snack, wait at the gate, board, and it still won’t feel real.

We’ll depart and get up to cruising altitude, the captain will dim the lights, and it still won’t feel real.

No, only halfway through watching The Batman Lego Movie or Lord of the Rings for the millionth time will it hit me: You just left home . Your family will be on a different continent than you, and it will be some time before you see everyone again. You will miss Christmases , birthdays, births, vacations and gatherings.

You’ll be missing life with your people.

Then it hits me: This year of being home is over. I’m leaving America and heading back to Ukraine. This is really happening.

That’s when my seat mate gives me a weird look. Apparently The Lego Movie doesn’t elicit emotional responses in everyone?! Whatever, lady.

So, whether you grieve the ending of “the good that was” beforehand or afterwards, feel what you feel. Let the weight of that loss sink in for a bit; let it feel real. You won’t camp out here forever, I promise. You’re just passing through.

God is here with you as you grieve. Our God sits with us in the hard things, doesn’t rush us, gently helps us up and walks with us into what’s next . Jesus is well-acquainted with grief, and He promised to be with you always.

So grieve well — in the middle of a movie or wherever. Celebrate “the good that was,” even as it’s over now, and wait with hopeful expectation for the great things God has in store.

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Loving Like Jesus Cross-Culturally (Part 1)

By Megan Lunsford • 23 Apr, 2024

When seeking to serve cross-culturally with an authentic love for others, there’s no better example for us than Jesus. If we sat around a table and threw out the question, “How do we love like Jesus?” I think we would have several commonalities as we respond. For example, Jesus loved all people right where they were. He loved those who were deemed the least, those hardest to love, or those who were His enemies. These are all beautiful realities of the heart of Jesus. When we step into relationships, it can be easier to take on the warmer, more gracious gestures of Jesus’ love, especially in cross-cultural relationships. Think about it––when doing life with those who look and act differently than us, we are already out of our comfort zones and would rather keep things as simple and familiar as possible. But there are other facets of Jesus’ heart we often overlook that can transform us and others even more into His likeness. Jesus is love because God is love. Everything Jesus did was out of love; it’s the mere definition of who He is. As followers of Jesus, He calls us to the same: “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.” (1 John:7-12) Every display of love we offer to others is an opportunity for them to encounter the ultimate love of the Father. That’s a pretty big deal! In this article, we’ll look at three expressions of Jesus’ love that we tend to overlook when engaging others cross-culturally. (Next month, we’ll look at three more.) 1. Jesus loved sacrificially. Everywhere Jesus went, crowds followed Him. We even see times in Scripture where Jesus had plans to step away for time alone but those who were hurting found Him and He had compassion on them and stayed with them. Can you imagine rarely having any time to yourself but, instead, constantly being surrounded by crowds of people wanting help from you? Jesus loved sacrificially. He welcomed all who came to Him with love and compassion, never turning anyone away. “When He saw the crowds, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” (Matthew 9:36) In the same way, we can make room in our lives for Jesus to bring sacrificial interruptions which, in His eyes, are orchestrated encounters to transfer His love to others. It can be tempting to be so “on mission” that we are full steam ahead and find ourselves frustrated when the Holy Spirit sends an interruption into our path that we feel we don’t have time for. Or, perhaps, we have scheduled a meet-up but it’s the norm in another culture to be 30 minutes or an hour late. We anxiously think through how it will affect whatever we have planned next. While it’s normal to feel a little stressed, what if the very "interruption” standing in front of you was really a divine appointment sent by God? Or what if that person running late experiences how peaceful and gracious you are in adapting to their culture and therefore, they can encounter a beautiful display of Jesus’ love? To truly represent Christ, we should remain ready and willing for each assignment the Lord sends into our path, no matter the cost or how much we will have to re-route our day. He is always a hundred steps ahead and will work all things for His glory and our good. 2. Jesus loved by discerning each situation well. Think about how many situations Jesus had to respond to on a daily basis. We read in Scripture that there were lines of people waiting to be healed by Him, talk to Him, hear His teachings, or simply touch the hem of His robe. Jesus was fully dependent on His Father to discern each situation before addressing it. “Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner.” (John 5:19) Another temptation we can have when in a relationship with those God has sent us to is to think we already know the solution or what God wants to do before we’ve even asked Him. We believe we are full of knowledge, so we just pull from the bank we have stored within and go with it. However, when we access what is familiar to us as our default, we risk missing out on a God-given solution that might truly be the key to unlocking whatever challenge is in front of us. What does this look like when interacting with others? We can simply ask, “God, what is on Your heart for the person standing in front of me?” Then we listen and respond as He speaks. When we make it a daily habit to pause and hear God’s heart for each situation before responding, we are guaranteed to be effective in loving those around us. He knows the heart of every person that will cross our paths. Imagine how impactful we can be if we first lean on His wisdom and discernment before moving forward. 3. Jesus loved by speaking truth. Most of us are familiar with the story of Jesus and the Samaritan woman at the well. If we are honest, this conversation makes us a bit nervous as none of us would be comfortable with Jesus calling out intimate details of our lives that we would prefer to hide. But Jesus went further than just airing her dirty laundry. He offered her the hope of the Gospel and a relationship with Him - a divine fulfillment that could never be found in an earthly relationship. Jesus modeled a powerful example of loving others well cross-culturally. He took the low place and spoke truth, truly out of love––speaking to her heart from His. Like Jesus, our goal in sharing the truths about Him and His Word is to bring hope and satisfaction through Him alone. When we speak truth from Scripture, we are calling others higher into all God has for them. The tricky part here is we should avoid speaking truth if it isn’t first fueled by compassion. If it merely comes from a place of judgment, condemnation, or self-righteousness, it will fall flat 100% of the time. But if it truly comes from love, you are likely to not only win a heart back to the Father but, like the story of the Samaritan woman, even an entire village! If you see someone living outside of God’s best for their lives, ask God to show you your heart before engaging theirs. Once your heart is properly postured, you can speak truth out of an overflow of God’s love and trust Him for a transformation in their lives.

Hospitality, Help, and the Hope of the Gospel

By Suzanne Pearson • 16 Apr, 2024

TEAM Canada provides warm welcome and trusted friendships for diaspora populations living far from their native countries. As TEAM Canada workers Peter and Ruth (names changed) drive from their home to a nearby community center, they pass numerous apartment buildings and townhouses. Most of the families who live there are immigrants. They’ve left their countries of origin due to political unrest, trauma, and other difficulties. They’ve left family, friends, homes, jobs, and personal wealth behind. They search for peace, justice for the oppressed, and rest from fear and weariness. And as they adjust to a new country and a new language, they are often very isolated from others around them. “The sad reality is most immigrants are never even invited inside a Canadian home,” says Ruth. Peter and Ruth and their team try to change that reality. For the last nine years, the team, which includes workers from partner organizations as well as volunteers, has held English classes at the community center. Three days a week, over 60 students from more than 20 countries come together to learn English as well as to fellowship together and receive practical help in assimilating to a new normal. Meeting Needs and Building Trust That practical help may come in the form of procuring furniture, clothes, or dishes for newcomers, assistance with creating a resume and finding a job, or teaching people how to navigate Canadian laws and the medical system. As these tangible needs are met, relationships are built. “We invite them into our homes for meals and games,” Ruth shares. “We take them on hiking trips, picnics, outings, and out for coffee.” This is particularly important in this type of ministry because most immigrants come to Canada from cultures that value hospitality. Conversely, Canadians do not typically prioritize hospitality and consequently many newcomers feel lonely and isolated. Inviting folks to various gatherings and outings allows the team to spend extended time hearing people’s stories, struggles, hopes, and dreams. When she speaks about building friendships, Ruth’s heart for the people she serves is evident. “Hearing their stories, it’s easy to love them, and many have become close friends,” Ruth says. “We recognize the value of steady one-on-one relationships.”